


Les séparés

by queenannesmusketeer



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, and thus for having to change the rating, i hope you don't mind, i've never written anything like that, so i blame certain friends for chapter 10
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:20:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5764552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenannesmusketeer/pseuds/queenannesmusketeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After having spent four years in a monastery, Aramis is set to return to court, where the king and queen struggle not only with their personal issues, but also with the issues of their people, who grow more and more upset over the ongoing war. As the royal family no longer knows who to trust, they decide to leave the palace with a small guard. Can the queen ignore her feelings for Aramis, when he is forced to protect her around the clock?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The dauphin's wish

Though it was quite chilly for a night in May, Anne paced up and down in the palace’s gardens. She felt like she couldn’t breathe indoors, where her husband was constantly arguing with his brother about the palace’s expanses, the hunger and poverty that seemed to have conquered Paris. Endless conversations that didn’t seem to agree with his health, because all Anne got to hear were complaints about his stomachaches. And of course about her son. Though he loved him like nothing else in his life, Louis was always jealous of his son’s love for his mother. Anne wondered if the birth of the dauphin had improved their relationship at all. She still felt powerless, voiceless and unwanted. Of course little Louis made her feel less lonely than she used to be. But she longed for more. She still wanted the epic romance she dreamt of when she was infanta at the Spanish court. The longing looks, the big gestures, the expressions of affection, the romantic dinners, the shared dances. She felt like she missed out on all of this. When she had her daydreams now though, she didn´t picture herself with a handsome young prince, she thought of a soldier, _a musketeer_.

 

It had been over five years since he had saved her from a hail of bullets. She fondly remembered his muscular body pressed against hers, his piercing brown eyes, his dark dishevelled hair. Like so often her mind drifted to that night in the convent a few months later. She was aware of the fact that she probably idealised or romanticised it over the years, but to her it was still her most precious memory. Anne had felt overcome with desire for the charming musketeer, who had sworn to protect her at all costs. Aramis had listened to her. He had made her feel desirable. And he had given her the one thing she thought would give her more power at court: an heir to the throne of France. In the following year, to protect their son and each other, they swore to no longer seek each other’s company. But Anne had underestimated Aramis’ love for the child he had sworn to protect with his life, and was almost executed for treason. In the end, she got away with everything, but her musketeer, ashamed and dishonoured, left to become a priest. It had been four years since he left, but she still missed him and how he made her feel. The Queen walked back to the palace.

 

She was on her way to kiss her son goodnight when her husband called: “Ma chère, the musketeer’s regiment will return next week.”

Anne turned around on the staircase and asked: “Oh please tell me our friends return unharmed, sire.”

“Treville tells me that none of our three friends were severely injured”, Louis replied.

“We should welcome them at the palace to thank them for their services for the country.”

“Of course we shall.”

Anne smiled. What cheerful news for the end of such a dull day. She wishes Louis goodnight and continues walking towards the dauphin’s chamber.

“There is something else. Apparently the former musketeer Aramis accompanies them.”

Anne froze and tried to compose herself. Her heart raced in her chest.

“How come?” Anne managed to ask.

“Treville tells me he tried to save the monastery from a Spanish ambush but ended up needing to be saved himself. I don’t know the details, but he’s supposed to be back at the garrison.”

“It must be strange to be back after so long”, Anne replied. He had followed her upstairs and was now looking right into her eyes. Was he trying to see how she would react upon hearing the musketeer’s name? Was this a test? At least she had managed not to blush. There was no way he could hear her agitation.

“He’s certainly a versatile man, that Aramis.”

“I was going to give the dauphin a goodnight kiss, would you care to join me? I’m sure he’d like to hear that adventure you had with D’Artagnan again”, Anne cleverly changed the subject.

“He is very fond of the musketeers, especially D’Artagnan.” The king smiled a bright smile and led the way to the dauphin’s chamber.

They entered the dauphin’s heavily guarded room together, bid the governess to give them some privacy and sat next to each other on his bed. Little Louis was already very sleepy but opened his eyes widely when he noticed that his parents had come in.

“Good evening my sweet little sunshine”, Anne said affectionately and caressed her son’s rosy little cheek.

“Maman, papa! Have you come to tell me a bedtime story?”

“We certainly have, mon cher. Which one would you like us to tell?”

“Maman told me a new one the other night. I’d love to know how it continues.” Anne got a little nervous. She had told him about the day Aramis had saved both of them from Marmion’s deadly plan. Now she thought she might have emphasised a little too much on the bravery of her musketeer…

“I did. I told him about how D’Artagnan and Constance stayed with you and tried to reason with Marmion.”

“This should be fun. I’ve never heard how you and your maman got saved.” _Probably because you were too busy being outraged about Milady wearing trousers or falling for Rochefort’s lies_ , Anne thought bitterly and forced a smile.

“Maman told me about the musketeer Aramis and how he fell out of a window and everyone thought he was dead! But he wasn’t dead! And then he climbed up the façade to save us! And he knocked out THREE guards!! The dauphin said with great excitement.”

“Marvellous! What bravery! Almost as brave as your father!” The king smiled and clapped his hands.

“Papa, when I grow up I want to be a musketeer! I want to be as good with a sword as D’Artagnan, as strong as Porthos, as brave as Aramis and as witty as Athos! Papa, Papa, can I be a musketeer?”

The king seemed a little taken aback by this demand. The queen too seemed surprised. At least he included all their friends. The thought of little Louis, who already reminded her of Aramis with his brown hair, angular chin and charming smile, saying he would like to be like his actual father, would have caused her much more distress.

“You know, you can be all of this once you become king of France?” Anne informed her son.

The king looked relieved and smiled. “You don’t need to be a soldier to be strong, brave, witty or good with a sword. See, I’m all of this and on top of that, I rule our great country”, the king smiled enthusiastically.

“But I’m not a king yet. I can be a musketeer for as long as you are king”, the dauphin replied, his eyes glistening with pride and anticipation. He pushed the bedsheets away, got up and imitated a sword fight with an invisible adversary.

“Louis, you have no idea how dangerous it is to be a musketeer. You need to be safe from all this danger, so you can grow up to become a great king. France needs you”, Anne said reasonably and gently took his hand.

“This is absurd. You encouraged this foolishness by telling him all those stories”, the king suddenly got angry. “I will not have my child hear another made up story about them again. He is the future king of France, he should be getting Latin lessons instead of listening to your follies.”

The king stormed out and violently closed the door behind him, while the dauphin and the queen looked after him, shocked by this sudden outburst.

“I’m sorry, maman”, the dauphin said teary eyed.

“It’s not your fault, my love. He just wants what’s best for you. As I said, France needs you”, Anne told her son while tucking him in his bed.

The five year old didn’t seem assured, so his mother added: “And I need you too.” She gently kissed him on the forehead and caressed his rosy cheek. “I love you, now go to sleep. You can be anything you want in your dreams.”

“I love you too, maman”, little Louis said and snuggled up against his cushion.

Anne gently closed the door behind her.


	2. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of a nightmare happening in this chapter, so you're warned.  
> .....................................................................................................................

“You have to stop putting ideas into his head. He’ll get killed before he comes of age”, the king said, still agitated.

“Pardieu! You startled me!” Anne replied.

“I mean it. I forbid you to encourage this foolishness”, the king commanded. He seemed to be in pain, as he kept his hand on his stomach. Beads of perspiration ran down his forehead.

“He’s five years old! Of course he dreams about adventures and swordfights! He’s only a child”, Anne retorted angrily.

“He’s not just a child! He’s our _only_ child, the future king of France!” Louis insisted, pointing a warning finger against his wife.

“I’m very well aware of this. I was just saying, that this is just a phase”, Anne tried to be reasonable, but she knew that he would not give up a fight so easily. Everything was her fault.

“If you encourage such behaviour, he’ll die before I do and France will have no heir again!” Louis insisted.

“He’s not going to die by fighting imaginary adversaries. Besides, you too told him stories about the musketeers. Why am I at fault now?” Anne wanted to know. Her cheeks were flushed now. Her nails were piercing into her hands. Louis looked very pale, clearly weakened by his stomachache. Suddenly he smiled his wide smile again.

“We need to have a spare!” he concluded happily, “you ruined our sweet little Louis too much and he’s going to die before I do. We obviously need another son. The sooner the better!”

“Louis is not going to die!!!” Anne countered, almost shouting, “and I am certainly not going to share your bed in this condition. You need rest.”

The pain distorted look on her husband’s face made her feel uneasy. She approached him and offered him an arm. She had already calmed down and decided to accompany him to his room. They didn’t speak a word to each other until they were at his doorstep. “Stay”, he whispered and took her hand. He looked at her with his sad, brown eyes and she felt sorry for him.

“I can’t… You need rest”, Anne replied and hugged him. She kissed him on the cheek, like she had kissed her son.

“I’m sorry, Anne”, he apologized. He always apologized afterwards.

  
It was already late when Anne kneeled in front of her crucifix to pray. When she was done praying for the war to end for good and for her people to no longer be suffering, she started getting nervous, as if someone was about to give her a lecture. _I know no secret can be hid from you, and I thank you with all my heart for bringing Aramis back. I pray to you that he will return safely and that he will stay…_

That night she struggled to find sleep again. She turned from one side to the other, over and over again, until she was so exhausted that she fell asleep.

Anne felt someone touch her neck, slowly caressing her cheek. She smiled and turned around. Her eyes widened in surprise when she noticed that it wasn’t the person she had expected. His bulgy blue eyes pierced into hers as he brushed back his sleazy blond hair. “I want your confession”, he whispered into her ear. She pushed him away, but he still smiled sardonically. She was petrified with horror, when she noticed that his eyes started to bleed excessively. “Confess that you and I are the same”, Rochefort demanded, coming closer to her once again, “and there’s only one place for liars like us.”

  
Anne woke up in the middle of the night, her nightshirt was sticky with sweat and she was completely out of breath. She grabbed the rosary that she kept on her nightstand and then got up to open a window. It was almost dawn. The morning air cooled her flushed cheeks. She definitely needed a distraction and since her husband didn’t include her in his politics, she came up with a different plan.

* * *

Right after getting dressed, she had Constance come to the palace. Constance had been her personal confidente for many years, but she had recently left court to spend more time with her husband, whenever the latter got off duty. Constance D’Artagnan looked tired, when she arrived at the palace. “Your Majesty, how may I be of service?” she asked the queen, who seemed to be in a cheerful mood again.

“I summoned you so that we can prepare the return of our mutual friends. The king told me that the regiment will return this week and we both want to thank our most loyal soldiers for their services. I thought that we should welcome them at the palace and I need your advice on how we will do so” the queen informed Constance. The young woman looked a little concerned.

“I suggest we have some beverages in the gardens. It’s not that chilly anymore” the queen offered and linked arms with her friend.

“I presume you heard about Aramis?” the queen whispered. Constance nodded.

The queen sent off her ladies-in-waiting and the two women took a seat underneath a baldachin in the gardens.

“Your Majesty, are you sure that you want to welcome Aramis back at the court?” Constance asked.

“Why shouldn’t he be welcomed back?” Anne countered, though she knew perfectly well why Constance asked. The latter nervously tried to cover herself with her cape. The cold air gave her goose bumps.

“Your Majesty, he left for a reason. What if he doesn’t want his commission back?” Constance continued.

“Aramis knows where his loyalties lie. He would not forsake his duties when France needs them greatly” Anne insisted.

“And how will _France_ react if he comes back to court after all this time?” Constance inquired playfully.

The queen bit her lower lip. “She will proceed invariably… But she will live more peacefully, with the knowledge that one more person is looking out for her once again.”

Constance sighed and took a biscuit. “Please consider how he will feel if he sees his son again. He’d have to see him being brought up by the king. Imagine he’d see him doing something he didn’t like? Remember what lengths he went through to see him last time” Constance pleaded, “how would you feel if someone else was bringing up your child and you’d have to watch him from the distance?”

“I honestly don’t know. I guess you are right” Anne agreed, saddened by the new realisation.

Constance took her hand and tried to change the subject: “How did you want to welcome the regiment anyway?”

“I wanted to spend the remaining savings we collected for the war to commission new uniforms for them. Especially for our most loyal musketeers” Anne explained.

“That’s very kind of you.”

“I thought I would ask your help, since you might still have contacts to cloth merchants?”

“I’ll see what I can do. But please reconsider inviting Aramis to the palace.”

“If he wants his commission back, he has to come back to the palace anyway, Constance. It will be his decision and I shall not intervene” the queen assured Constance.

* * *

A few days later the king and queen received word that Athos, D’Artagnan, Porthos and Aramis accepted the invitation to the palace. The day of their visit, Anne was nervous as she still didn’t quite know how to hide her excitement. She decided to wear a silken blue dress and robe that complimented her fair skin nicely. As it was a sunny day, and to distract herself a little, she took the dauphin to play hide and seek outdoors. “Maman, they are here! Look!” little Louis grabbed his mum by the hand and pointed at the horizon. _Would he look at me the same way he used to after all these years?_ The musketeers had reached the gates and got off their horses. Anne immediately spotted Aramis. Her heart skipped a beat and she had to hold onto little Louis for support.

  
“The new one must be Aramis!” the dauphin said excitedly.

“Yes, my love, that’s Aramis” Anne replied hoarsely.

“Maman, may I run to meet them halfway?” her son pleaded. He clearly couldn’t wait to see his heroes again. Anne looked nervously at the palace to see whether the king was within reach. She had to think of the argument she had with him over a week ago.

“Of course, my love” she couldn’t deny him anything. Anne however immediately regretted sending him off, because she had no one to hold onto anymore. She felt vulnerable and crossed her arms to build up a wall between her and what was to come. In the distance she could see the four men laughing as D’Artagnan lifted the little boy onto his shoulders. If the king had seen this, he would have gone mad with jealousy. The queen now concentrated on Aramis again, who smiled happily as he observed his son. She closed her eyes and breathed in. _What if Constance was right? What if our son was my remedy but his poison?_

“There they are. The king doesn’t feel well, he bid me to receive the musketeers in his stead” the king’s younger brother Gaston’s voice sounded from behind her. The queen winced at the sound of his nasal voice. _Great, one more spectator._

D’Artagnan let down the dauphin, who immediately walked back to his mother. The four musketeers lined up next to each other and bowed to their queen. They looked breathtakingly beautiful in their new uniforms. Anne admired the little details every one of them had on his uniform. She was very fond of the cross that now blazed on Aramis’ shoulder blade. She tried not to look him in the eyes, though she knew he was looking at her.

“Welcome back musketeers! The king awaits you inside, though we shall not trouble him for too long” Gaston broke the silence.

“It’s good to have you back. We feel much safer when you are around” the queen greeted the four musketeers. And there it was. For the first time in four years she looked into Aramis’ eyes. She knew right then and there that it would never be over and that not even her faith could impede her feelings for him.

“Will you stay at the regiment, Aramis?” the dauphin asked bluntly.

“For as long as you need me to, your highness” Aramis replied while taking off his hat and bowing.

“Welcome back, monsieur Aramis” the queen greeted him, almost whispering, as if she was afraid to break the spell that lingered between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the messy layout. I wanted to write this in two chapters, but then I thought that Anne deserved to have Aramis back in the second chapter.  
> Thanks so much for reading this and for the comments on the previous chapter!


	3. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this rather long chapter.

The queen didn’t accompany the musketeers inside. She knew that whatever politics they would discuss with the king, the latter wouldn’t let her have a say in them anyway. Of course there was also the fact that she had felt obligated to hide that she was giddy with excitement. She could not risk raising any kind of suspicion of her true feelings ever again. Thus she stayed outside, running after little Louis and feeling absolutely carefree. An hour of sheer bliss later, her curls had set themselves free from her complicated hairstyle and her silken dress was stained with green grass spots.

“Maman, we have to do this every day”, the dauphin suggested and cuddled his mum firmly. They then both sank down on the grass giggling and looked up at the blue spring sky. Anne suddenly realised that they had ran off quite far from the palace’s guards and urged her son to get up: “We need to get back, my love. Your father must miss you.”

  
When she got back inside, the four musketeers were on their way out. She ordered the dauphin’s governess to give him a bath. Little Louis waved the musketeers goodbye. His eyes were still sparkling with admiration. “Your Majesty, we’ve just informed the king about the regiment’s victory in Les Avins”, Athos was kind enough to keep the queen updated whenever they met.

“Unfortunately the Spanish have found other ways to invade France by now”, Aramis continued.

“Regrettably this means that the war is far from being over”, Athos explained further, “and that the costs for the war could increase again.”

“The people of France will riot if we increase the military expanses again”, Anne concluded, “what did the king decide?”

“Raise the taxes and decrease the palace’s expanses”, Athos let the queen know.

“That seems reasonable, though I fear that we will further upset the people”, Anne worried, “at the worst this could mean civil war.”

“That’s the worst case scenario, your Majesty. For now, let’s wait and see”, Porthos intervened.

“Thank you, my friends, for keeping me informed”, the queen smiled in a noble, yet reserved manner. The four musketeers bowed to their queen. She watched them leave the palace and hoped that Aramis would turn around one more time, but to her disappointment he didn’t.

  
With her legs still hurting from all the running, she slowly went upstairs to take a bath. She relieved herself of her clothes and stepped into the hot water. As she plunged her head under water, she wondered if Aramis had given up on them. _Maybe he had truly found his vocation. Maybe he had moved on…_ Half an hour later, her fingers were wrinkled, she ordered the maid to bring her new clothes and stepped out of the water that had already gone cold.  
She could already smell the deliciously cooked venison from afar, when she went down for dinner. The dauphin smiled brightly at her when he saw her step in. Her husband on the other hand, didn’t seem as delighted to see her.

“Where have you been?”, he asked annoyed.

“I was just taking a bath. I must have forgotten the time”, Anne answered and took a seat.

“Maman and I had the most exquisite day! We played hide and seek and I got to see the musketeers in their new uniforms!”, the dauphin told the king. Anne winced, praying that he would not cause another scene.

“Is that so? I do hope that won’t become a regularity”, the king said calmly.

“Papa, will you teach me how to fence on Sunday?”, the dauphin asked. Louis seemed extremely happy about this request and smiled his brightest smile.

“I certainly will. We shall have our first lesson right after mass! I will have Treville assist us!”, the king planned.

After dinner, they sent the dauphin off to bed and went to the drawing room.

“We risk civil war if we raise the taxes again”, the queen immediately addressed the delicate subject.

“We can’t let your fellow countrymen invade France either”, the king countered cheekily.

“I made a vow to always be at your side, and I will keep that promise. We need to work this out together”, Anne tried to reason with her husband.

“My dear Anne, I trust you and I’m glad to have you on my side, but you are still just a woman. And politics are for men to discuss”, Louis let her know.

Ignoring what her husband just said, Anne continued: “We could ask our allies from Sweden to help us. Or maybe involve the French nobility more and get more recruits to finance the war.”

“Oh Anne, we could not embarrass ourselves like that. As if the nobility would let go of their wealth”, the king chuckled, “all we can do is, cut down our own expanses and raise taxes for now. So no more pretty new dresses for you.”

She looked at him in his new flamboyant ensemble and almost wanted to respond. Instead she took up a game of chess with him, which she naturally won within ten minutes.

  
The following Sunday morning, the royal family dressed for mass and walked down to the foyer to meet the musketeers. Everyone looked at the dauphin who smiled mischievously at D’Artagnan, while clinging to his mother’s hand. The queen caught Porthos whispering something to Aramis, who scolded him in response.  
Outside a black horse-drawn carriage awaited them. They quickly hurried inside and the four musketeers led the way to the church. On their way D’Artagnan and Porthos were busy preventing a handful of malcontents from coming too close to the carriage. While the dauphin seemed to be fascinated by what happened outside, the king cowered behind the curtains. Anne on the other hand stoically listened to the ill-wishes her people were shouting at her.  
When they arrived, Aramis led the way, while Athos accompanied the king, Porthos the queen and, to the dauphin’s great delight, D’Artagnan was in charge of his safety. In church, everyone seemed too preoccupied to listen to the sermons: the king fidgeted and constantly looked around as if someone was about to attack, the dauphin couldn’t sit still as he tried to catch a glimpse of D’Artagnan and even the queen, who usually listened to every word the priest had to say, seemed distant.  
After the mass, Aramis left first to let the coachmen know about their departure. When he didn’t come back for a while, Porthos went after him. In the meantime, though it was custom for the royal family to leave first, some impatient citizens already left.

  
“The carriage was ambushed. Apparently it is unfit to ride”, Porthos informed the family.

“I knew it! I had a bad feeling today!”, the king said agitated.

The queen urged everyone to leave church, while she looked nervously for Aramis.

“Your Majesties, you can always use the backdoors”, the priest suggested friendly.

“I suggest we split up. We leave as we came. The dauphin and the king will leave first, then the queen”, Anne overheard Athos. She nodded in agreement.  
Aramis still hadn’t come back and Anne couldn’t keep her eyes away from the front door.

“He’ll be fine”, Porthos whispered to her confidently.

“Let’s go”, D’Artagnan said and led the way for the king, who carried his son, and Athos who ordered more men to follow them.

Anne could hear the crowds shouting at them. More and more people seemed to have assembled at the back doors.

“We have to leave now, before more people come”, Porthos let his queen know.

When he opened the door to take a look outside, the crowd had already thickened. Anne gulped and looked at Porthos. “What now?”, she asked.

“It will only get worse, and these people don’t seem to carry weapons. I suggest we leave at once”, Porthos said, “don’t worry, I will protect you.”

“It is not my safety I’m worried about”, Anne replied, “my five year old son is out there.”

Porthos opened the door once again, and shouted: “Out of the way!” The place was crammed with shouting people. Though Porthos’ presence made them step aside, they still shouted audacious words at the queen.

“We’ve had enough of this war and your country! Go back to where you came from, courtisane!”, one middle-aged man shouted. Porthos scolded him in her defense, though it was clear that the situation was getting out of hand. More men seemed to rally up around her. Suddenly the sound of a gun silenced the crowd. Everyone looked around to find a dark haired man pointing his gun at them.  
Aramis had fired a shot from behind the crowd and was now making his way to the queen and Porthos.

“I think you’ve only angered them further”, Porthos said out loud what the queen had been thinking.

“My musketeers won’t harm you. Please let us leave”, the queen addressed the crowd. It was too late, the crowd had found their scapegoat and they grew louder and louder.  
“We have to get back inside. We can’t fire at them”, Aramis said. Porthos nodded.  
Someone in the crowd started throwing something in their direction. Aramis took this as a sign to make a move. He opened the door and led the queen back inside.

“Father, can you close the doors quickly? The queen is in grave danger”, Aramis asked the priest.

“I will fetch them quickly. I’ve just locked the front doors”, the priest said and hurried to the sacristy.  
Aramis and Porthos guarded the back doors, while Anne followed the priest. Seconds later Anne came back running towards Aramis to close the door.

“I can’t hold them any longer! I will get help. I have to step back outside”, Porthos shouted, leaning against the door. He abruptly opened the door, upon which a young farmer’s boy stumbled inside. He took him by the collar and almost threw him back outside. He quickly closed the door behind him and shouted from outside: “Lock it, damn you Aramis!!”  
Anne and Aramis hurried towards the door and fiddled with the keys and locked the door together. Though the door was secured, Anne’s hands lingered on Aramis’.

“I recommend we stay in the sacristy until more guards will arrive. Don’t worry, the people won’t dare to break into a church”, the priest offered calmly and led the way to the sacristy. Within the next hour, Anne watched Aramis walk in and out of the room to check on the situation outside.

“I’ve just been upstairs. People are still not leaving and there is no sign of the palace’s guards”, Aramis informed the queen. Anne stood up and grabbed his hand.

“Aramis, rest for a minute, please. I’m sure the others brought the dauphin back to the palace and are on their way back by now”, Anne tried to calm him down.  
Aramis froze at the touch of her hand. She watched him close his eyes and take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, your Majesty”, he apologized.

“What for? The people are upset, it’s not your fault”, Anne replied.

“I mean for everything I’ve done to you. You didn’t deserve anything that happened to you”, Aramis said and looked her in the eyes.

“Aramis, I told you four years ago, that I will never regret what happened between us and I still mean it”, Anne insisted, staring back into his deep brown eyes.

“You didn’t know what I had done. What kind of person I truly am. I didn’t deserve to have you in my life and I will never do”, Aramis continued, walking around nervously.

“Do you love me Aramis?”, the queen asked frankly.

“I could never love you as you deserve to be loved”, Aramis said.

“I don’t believe you can choose who you love, Aramis. I however believe that I can choose what I deserve and what not”, Anne retorted reasonably.

“I will never put you in danger again”, Aramis responded.

“Then don’t. I don’t want you to be my lover. I just… I just want to be loved”, Anne concluded.

Someone knocked on the door: “I believe your friends have arrived. They’re headed towards the front doors”, the priest interrupted their conversation.

At the front doors they already heard a hammering and someone shouted: “Musketeers! Please open the doors!”

Two altar boys opened the doors while Aramis took cover behind a pillar. When he saw that it was indeed a couple of musketeers, followed by Porthos, he ran back to the sacristy.  
He took the queen’s hand to lead the way out and whispered: “ _Always_.”


	4. A half-smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I attempted several things with this chapter:  
> \- I tried to show how Aramis is trying to redeem himself.  
> \- that the Queen, even though she has little political influence at the moment, could never give up on being queen. Same as Aramis could never not be a soldier.  
> \- that the dauphin reminds Anne quite a lot of his father.

“Maman, maman!“, the dauphin shouted, running towards his mother, who opened her arms to embrace him.

“It’s alright my darling, I’m here. The musketeers are always here to protect us”, she whispered to him, kissing him on the cheek.

“My darling Anne, I prayed for your safe return!”, the king greeted his wife. He was followed by Minister Treville and Athos, who both looked very stern.

“Your Majesty, we’ve just discussed an urgent matter with the king. Unfortunately we fear that there will be an even bigger uprising amongst the people of Paris”, Minister Treville let her know, “we’ve had word that several groups have been formed. Most of them in the slums of Paris.”

“We’ve already had an encounter with one of their leaders, Lucien Grimaud, outside of the church”, Athos explained, “a former soldier, now a common thief.”

“I don’t believe the queen needs to know all those details, captain”, the king stepped in.

Anne replied with a forced smile and whispered a thank you to the minister and Athos. She was thankful to always be kept informed, but at this moment it made her sad and it reminded it her, that she would never be able to do something in regards to this war. _How could the sister to the king of Spain do anything to appease the citizens of Paris? And even much less stop a war against her country of birth…_ She had done her duty, fulfilled her purpose. For the rest of her life all she had to do was fake a smile and be a good wife.

“I’m going to the chapel to pray”, Anne let her husband know, though he was barely listening.  
It had been such a turbulent day and she much needed some peace and quiet. Just outside the chapel, she noticed that someone was standing in the little cemetery of the palace’s gardens. The sundown was blinding her and she could not make out who it was. Out of curiosity she shaded her eyes with her hand. The man kneeled down to put a white rose on a grave. In his right hand he held a jeweled rosary that twinkled in the sun. He kissed the rosary, spoke a few words, crossed himself and then placed the rosary carefully around the cross behind the grave. Anne wanted to hide in the chapel, but it was too late, Aramis had noticed her. He came towards her.

“I was going to go to the chapel”, she said, “I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”  
The queen didn’t quite understand what she had just witnessed. The man she loved had just placed her rosary on the grave of the woman who had almost caused their death.

“Your Majesty, I was just paying my respects to Marguerite”, Aramis explained, while Anne looked back at the rosary, “I hope that she is with God now… And that both can somehow forgive me for what I did.”  
Anne felt almost embarrassed to have been jealous, but she still wanted to know why he had given up on the token of their love.

“And…”

“The rosary only brought us misfortune and I hope it finds a new purpose here”, Aramis interrupted her.

“I’m sorry that you couldn’t… that you can’t be a parent to your child”, Anne suddenly said, her voice shaking. This whole ordeal had reminded her of what had happened four years ago and what Constance had said to her a few days ago.

“France is lucky to have you as a queen and I would never want you to be something else”, Aramis replied, “and one day she is going to have a great king as wise and beautiful as his mother, and I could not wish for something better.” Anne looked into his deep brown eyes and he smiled his beautiful half-smile.

“I was born to be a queen as you were born to be a soldier. We could never be something else”, Anne agreed with a heavy heart.

She held out her hand and said: “God go with you, Aramis” upon which he kissed her hand. As Aramis walked back to the palace, she went to the chapel to pray for Marguerite.

* * *

  
The following two months passed relatively quietly. To Anne’s great disappointment, the royal family hadn’t been to church since the ambush. Instead they lived more secluded than ever. More guards were appointed to secure the palace and no one was to set a foot in the garden, as it was too big to be guarded all the time. The days of running around without a care in the world seemed far gone.

“But you promised to teach me how to fight with a sword!”, the dauphin pouted.

“I will, my darling boy, but unfortunately it is not safe at the moment”, the king concluded.

“But I’m not a coward! And Minister Treville will protect us!”, the dauphin insisted. Upon hearing the word “coward” the king flinched. He did not like to hear that word.

“Alright then. But not for too long”, the king agreed.

Anne wasn’t very keen on them going outside and went to her apartments where she could overlook everything. Minister Treville and the king showed little Louis how to properly hold a sword. The dauphin eagerly payed attention. It seemed to be the best subject he had ever been taught. His eyes were sparkling when Treville taught him how to hold the sword in defense. They were accompanied by a most cheeky half-smile, when the little dauphin got to switch to offense. Anne knew that smile perfectly well, it wasn’t the king’s bright smile, that almost always bared all his teeth; it was that half-smile that had charmed so many women and probably also men: He was the spitting image of Aramis when he smiled like that. It almost scared Anne and made her want to forbid him to ever smile like that again.

After what seemed like hours to the queen, the three of them put their swords aside and some beverages were brought to them. Little Louis waved at his mother, who smiled in return. Out of the blue, a man had made his way to the king and the dauphin. At first the man, who was wearing a red guard uniform, walked slowly towards them, then he started to run… Anne screamed, as he approached the group from behind. The Minister and the king looked for another attacker, probably thinking that the red guard was protecting them. But when the guard took out a dagger, the Minister reached for his sword. Anne opened the window frantically and screamed: “Run Louis, run!!!” Not hesitating a second, the queen kicked off her shoes and ran downstairs. She didn’t know whether to call for more guards or whether they were all posing a threat, so she ran outside on her own.

Little Louis came running towards her. To her horror, she realised that he had blood on his shirt.

“It’s not mine. It’s not mine”, the boy said, his voice shaking. The queen took off his blood-stained shirt and embraced him.

“He’s a very brave boy, your Majesty”, the Minister said while walking towards them.

“I couldn’t be more proud of him”, the king agreed. He looked quite shaken, but smiled at the dauphin.

“What happened?”, the queen wanted to know, still hugging her son.

“The dauphin kicked the attacker in his shins and as he faltered I had a chance to grab my sword and get the king out of harm’s way”, the minister recounted.

"Did he give a reason why he would do such a thing, considering that he was dressed as a red guard?“, the queen inquired.

“Unfortunately the threat was too eminent, I had to strike him down immediately”, the Minister explained, “your Majesty, I fear that more and more people will join the uprising.”

“Are we still safe here? And who can we still trust?”, the king inquired.

“I think it would be better to leave the palace for a while, until all of this has quietened,” Treville suggested, “and I’m sure your Majesties can still count on the musketeer’s loyalty.”

“That’s it then, summon the four musketeer guard. We’ll leave quietly tomorrow morning, without letting anyone know”, the king announced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm sorry it took me longer to finish this chapter, but I was quite busy with rl. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. In the next one, the royal family will be on the run and they'll hide in a certain convent...


	5. A familiar place

It was still dark outside, when the royal family came downstairs to wait for the musketeers. The day before, Minister Treville had made some servants bring simple clothes for them. The queen, who wasn’t quite happy about leaving the safety of the palace, thus wore a simple brown bodice dress, while the king had put on white shirt, peasant trousers and a cape to cover himself. He looked quite pale; he wasn’t very fond of travelling and his stomach didn’t tolerate all his nervousness. The dauphin on the other hand seemed to be far too excited about this adventure, as he was going to spend time with the musketeers away from the palace.

“I will leave you and my brother in charge of the palace. Nothing shall be decided without my consent and everything has to continue as ordered”, the king told Treville.

“I will make sure of this your Majesty”, Treville promised.

D’Artagnan entered the foyer to announce that the others are waiting for them outside in the gardens.

“Safe journey your Majesties”, Treville told them and closed the doors behind them.

The queen immediately noticed that the musketeers weren’t wearing their shoulder badge with the fleur de lys. 

“So, what’s the plan?”, the king asked Athos.

“We’re leaving for Bourbon-les-eaux. The convent there has already been the queen’s hide-out twice and it’s less conspicuous than one of your Majesty’s hunting lodges”, Athos addressed both the king and the queen. The latter was sure that he had looked at her when he mentioned the convent. Anne took this as some sort of warning, that he’ll be watching her and Aramis very closely.

“I suggest we leave immediately, so we can rest at the lake in the forest at noon, when the heat becomes unbearable”, D’Artagnan said, “I will ride ahead with the dauphin.” He helped attach the few belongings the royal family had brought with them and heaved little Louis on his horse.

The king nodded, got on his horse as well and pulled over his cape. The queen rolled her eyes and was about to get on her horse on her own, when she noticed that Aramis hadn’t gotten on his yet. Upon noticing this, Porthos widened his eyes and wanted to help the queen but Aramis, the gentleman that he was, couldn’t stop himself and had already put his hands together for the queen to use them as means to mount the horse. He held her hand until she was settled. Everyone was looking at them and thus she only thanked him with a hesitant nod. _Why did every moment between them make the world around them stop?_ D’Artagnan cleared his throat and rode off with the dauphin. A few seconds later, the queen and Porthos rode off, followed by Athos, the king and Aramis left last. As far as they could tell, no one was following them.

At noon, they arrived as planned at the lake in Bourbon-les-eaux and as predicted the heat was stifling.

“Come on son, let’s get in the water to cool off”, the king picked up the dauphin and ran with him to the water.

“We shouldn’t rest for too long, your Majesty”, Athos warned him, “in case anyone is following us.”

“I trust you, Captain. We’re in safe hands”, the king shouted back, splashing little Louis with water. The dauphin giggled in return and tried to make him fall.

Anne watched them happily and sat down in the shade of a large tree. Half an hour later they both sank down on the grass next to her. They waited until their clothes had dried up and then rode off to the convent. They could already spot the convent on the horizon when D’Artagnan stopped. He got off his horse and helped the dauphin down.

“Why are we stopping at such an exposed place?”, the king wanted to know.

“The dauphin is not feeling well”, D’Artagnan said anxiously.

Everyone got off their horses and joined them. The dauphin seemed to feel as nauseous as the king did when he had stomach aches.

“Oh dear, my son has the same treacherous disease as I have!”, the king exclaimed.

“His cheeks are bright red. It must be a fever”, the queen said worriedly.

“Did he have enough to drink?”, Aramis asked, approaching the group, “it could be related to the heat.”

“He did spend a lot of time in the sun”, the queen agreed.

“We should get him to the convent and put him in a cool bath. And make him drink a lot of water”, Aramis continued, putting his hat on the dauphin’s head and handing him some water.

“Thank you Aramis, but we’ll send for a physician when we get to the convent. Just to be sure”, the king let Aramis know.

At the convent Sister Thérèse awaited them. “I hope we’re not an inconvenience again, Sister Thérèse. This time we’re joined by the entire royal family”, Athos let her know.

“You’re always welcome here, your Majesties”, the nun greeted them, “I hope your Majesty is aware of the fact that this is a very humble convent, and that we don’t have that many rooms to share.”

“Aramis can stay in the stables”, Porthos murmured, upon which everyone within his hearing distance shot him a warning look.

“I’m sure we will manage. Right now, the dauphin needs some attendance”, Athos replied.

Sister Thérèse took one look at little Louis and concluded that it was heat related. She ordered Sister Marie-Jeanne to give him a bath and bring him some beverages. They all went inside, hoping to get some rest. Despite the cool stonewalls of the convent, everyone was still trying to fight the heat. The musketeers had put the leather gear in the small room they would sleep in alternately and the king had gotten rid of his cape and was now trying to fan himself with some paper he found in the chapel.

It was already getting dark outside when the dauphin came down. He seemed much better and ran towards D’Artagnan, begging him to play arm wrestling with him. D’Artagnan looked for the king’s approval, who nodded in return. The three of them sat around the table in the kitchens and played until the dauphin got tired.  
Meanwhile the queen went upstairs to the head sister’s room she was so familiar with. Though the window was opened, no fresh air seemed to get in. The moonlight shined so bright, she didn’t even need to light a candle. She took off her bodice and moved towards the window bench. She sat down, hoping that the air got cooler outside, and listened to the crickets outside. Suddenly she heard a horse whinnying from below. Aramis had led the horse outside of the stables. To her delight her former lover didn’t wear a shirt while taking care of the limping horse. She tried to avoid making a noise and leaned against the wall in order not to be noticed. As he took a look at the horse’s hind leg, Anne gazed longingly at his muscular back and thought about what she would give to run her fingers through his curly hair. Oh how she longed to feel his touch again, to feel his breath against her neck, to feel his lips on hers! Anne felt her cheeks burn up as she began undressing him in her thoughts.

Suddenly the dauphin entered the room without knocking and Anne almost fell out of the window. She quickly got up and pulled herself up. The noise had made Aramis look up and thus she discomposedly closed the window at a smiling Aramis. She placed her long blond hair over one shoulder and walked towards her son.

“Maman, why are you closing the window? It’s so hot!”, the dauphin complained and sank onto the bed.

“Indeed. I just didn’t want the insects to get in”, Anne replied awkwardly, waving with her arms as if to get rid of some flies.

“Maman, you look bright red, you need the fresh air”, the dauphin countered reasonably.

“Of course”, his mother said then and opened the window again. Below Aramis was still smiling wickedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers, I'm sorry that you had to wait so long. I hope you're still reading. :) Share your thoughts.


	6. A night in the stables

Anne lay down next to her son and tickled him. This tender moment reminded her of her younger siblings, who she missed dearly. When her own mother had died in childbirth, she was only ten years old. Her mother had always been her role model. She remembered her being a very good hearted queen and doting upon each of her seven children. When she had passed away, Anne had to look after her younger siblings. They cherished her so much, that it broke her heart when she had to leave the country to marry Louis. A little teary eyed, she had kissed her siblings goodbye. One of them had even grabbed her dress and begged his “mother” to stay. Her only consolation was, that one day she would have children of her own. Fifteen years later she had little Louis, but it could never have worked out with her husband...

_The night Louis and her were forced to consummate their marriage would haunt both of them forever. They were both fourteen years old and didn’t really know what to do or even what to expect. Louis’ mother, his governess and several other people all watched them climb into a four poster bed. They closed the curtains of the bed and then took seat close by. Anne remembered their awkward attempts to undress each other, their nervous giggles and then their silence. They had had a whole court who had told them how to proceed, but looking at each other’s naked bodies had scared them. They slipped under the sheets and looked at the ceiling until someone cleared his throat. “Are you done, your Majesty?”, the queen’s mother asked in her raspy voice. “Nooo”, Louis lamented, crossing his arms, “she doesn’t want to do it.” “Then tell her what to do, sire”, his mother said annoyed. Louis slid on top of her and she looked at him curiously, wondering what he would do next. “Don’t look at me”, he said nervously and instead of telling her what to do, he just awkwardly placed her limbs as if he was setting up a game of chess. As neither of them enjoyed said game, it was quickly over and the only one who was satisfied, was Louis’ mother. At least there would be no doubt of the legitimacy of this marriage. The couple didn’t share a bed for the four following years, and they would only ever do so in order to conceive, though that never worked out.  
_

Anne caressed her son’s cheek and told him another musketeer adventure in order to get rid of her self-pitying thoughts. He fell asleep quickly and Anne quietly got up to close the window. Before doing so, she took a peek outside to check if Aramis was still there. Unfortunately, there was no movement in the courtyard. The front gate of the convent was closed and the light that came from the stables had gone out. Without really thinking it through, Anne snuck barefoot out of the room. She looked downstairs where she could see that the door to the courtyard was open. Sadly, it was also guarded by Porthos, who seemed to be enjoying the slight draught the open doors caused. There was no way she could use the front door without being noticed. Anne quietly sat down on the top stair to reconsider her options. She hugged her legs and examined the ground floor again. _This is insane. I’m insane._ She thought as she snuck down the stairs. Downstairs she darted towards the kitchens, where she found a chair, which she used to climb out of a window. She could only hope that no one would come to the kitchens and notice the chair and the window, she was forced to leave ajar. Outside she landed clumsily on the dusty ground. She cursed as she limbed towards the stables. All of a sudden, Anne heard the clicking of a gun.

“Sacrebleu! I could have shot you!“, Aramis greeted her, “what in god’s name are you doing here?”

Anne still didn’t really know the answer to that question and stared at his still bared chest instead.

“Did someone see you?”, he continued.

“Not that I know. I climbed out of a window”, she replied and checked her slightly swollen ankle.

“Let me take a look at that inside”, Aramis said, while making sure no one saw them.

Inside the stables, where three of their six horses slept, it was still stifling hot. Despite of the heat, Aramis quickly put on a shirt. He then had her sit down on a stool, kneeled down and gently lifted her foot. She flinched as he touched her ankle.

“Did that hurt?”, he asked worriedly. Anne looked into his warm brown eyes and cleared her throat.

“Not really.” He seemed to be skeptical and placed her foot on his thigh again.

“It seems to be a little swollen, but it shouldn’t hurt that much if I touch it”, Aramis concluded, “maybe you should wrap some wet cloth around it, to keep it cool.”

Anne couldn’t muster the courage to tell him that it was not the pain that had made her pull away her foot. It was mostly the unfamiliarity of his touch.

“So… what are you doing here?”, Aramis asked gently.

“I was somehow drawn here. I know, I said that it would be enough for me to know that you love me, but I was lying to myself… I can’t bear to see you every day, and not be with you”, Anne admitted to Aramis and herself. Aramis sat down on the haystack next to her and sighed theatrically, while running his fingers through his hair.

“Every woman I’ve ever loved died, your Majesty. I’m not joking, when I say that I’m cursed”, Aramis reckoned, “I won’t lose you too. The risk is too great.”

The queen on the other hand seemed more upset about the fact that he had already loved someone prior to her, than the curse Aramis was worried about.

“We’ve committed the greatest sin, and yet we always end up in situations like this one. Maybe it’s a sign”, Anne said hopefully.

“Or punishment”, Aramis countered.

Anne looked away and closed her eyes, holding back the tears.

“I should leave. Thank you for taking care of my ankle,” Anne said and hurried towards the door.

Aramis leaped towards her and grabbed her hand before she could open the door. He then pulled her close to him. She glared at him, breathing heavily. He leaned down and their lips met instantly. Their kiss grew more and more fiercely and all self-control, both had tried to build up, disappeared as quickly as the thirst after a refreshing beverage. Her hands were flattened on his back, trying to pull him as close as possible, while his were tangled in her hair. All of a sudden, he broke off the kiss and pulled away.

“Are you sure about this?”, he asked breathlessly.

“Not even my faith could stop me at this point, Aramis. Despite everything, I still want this”, she replied. Her cheeks were flushed and her skin was reddened where his moustache had brushed against her.

“Do you still want me?”, she asked hesitantly.

“I spent four years in a monastery and there wasn’t a day I didn’t think of you. I prayed for strength to stay away from you, so that I wouldn’t endanger you ever again but…”, Aramis was lost for words.

“…my whole body aches for you”, Anne continued and flattened her hand on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat fasten. He cupped her face in return and kissed her so deeply, that she seemed to lose control over her legs. She slid her hand underneath his shirt and pulled him closer again. Aramis then swept her off her feet and carried her towards the hay that was piled up at the back of the stables. In order not to be parted from his lips for too long, Anne hurriedly removed his shirt. She felt his hand trace up her thigh and upper body, slowly removing her night gown. When he had reached her neck, she lifted her arms, and let him undress her completely. He gently kissed every part of her body, making her forget the slight itching the hay caused. In response she wrapped her legs around him to pull his body against hers and tried to get on top to find a better way to get rid of his remaining clothes. As they both start fiddling on his trousers, her body truly started aching for him and it only found relief when he sent her to a place that she found holier than the convent they stayed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't the easiest part to write. :) I hope you enjoy.


	7. The morning after

“I think I’m going to hell for this”, Aramis chuckled, holding Anne in his arms. Their hands were intertwined and Anne had placed her leg over his hip.

“We both are”, Anne replied half-heartedly, because she still refused to believe that God would punish her for loving somebody so fiercely. She kissed his hand affectionately and then switched to tracing circles on his chest. “I think you were right though. We’re already being punished, as we’re forced to live separate lives.”

“Promise me, that you will never leave me again. Not even to protect me. From now on, we shall never be separated again”, Anne said, looking up to him.

“Until death do us part”, he whispered into her ear, as she snuggled up to him, “I love you.”

“I love you too”, she replied and lifted her head so that he could kiss her.

Though it was dawning outside, neither of them wanted to let go of the other. _One last time before I leave,_ Anne thought as she traced the scars on his chest.

“I have to leave before your son wakes up and notices my absence”, Anne whispered, reaching for her nightdress. Aramis smiled in return and pulled her back.

“I really have to go”, Anne said half-heartedly and got up, while Aramis still held her hand.

“Let me help you with this, your Majesty”, Aramis suggested, taking her nightdress, “hands up.”

She looked at him curiously as she lifted her arms. He let her dress slide over her arms and head, never breaking their eye contact, but then he stopped the dress from falling down further.

“So Long, my lovers”, he said theatrically, looking at her chest. Anne scoffed him in return, pulling her dress down. Still smiling, Aramis got dressed quickly too.

“Don’t let me wait for another five years again.”

“I’ll meet you when it’s safe. I promise”, Aramis replied and opened the door to check if someone was outside, “you’re good to go. Make sure no one sees you.”

Anne got on her tiptoes to kiss him goodbye. He pulled her closer and returned her kiss passionately.

It had been like they were newly-weds and it was extremly hard to be seperated from him again.

With the taste of his kiss still on her lips, she sneaked back to the window she had left ajar. Four failed attempts and one grazed leg later, she managed to pull herself up on the windowsill and almost stumbled inside. She had barely closed the window, when someone cleared his throat behind her.

“Can I help you, your Majesty?”, Porthos inquired.

“Thank you, but I was just closing the window… as it got chilly here”, the queen replied, though she could still feel her flushed cheeks and wounded leg.

“I see”, Porthos replied.

“I didn’t have dinner last night, so I came down to see if there was some bread left”, she continued, feeling caught in the act.

“I didn’t even hear you come down”, Porthos said.

“You were probably concentrated on the front door”, Anne reasoned and searched for something to eat. To her delight she found a piece of bread and held it up to show Porthos.

“I have to go back to bed now, before the dauphin wakes up and notices my absence”, she explained.

“Of course”, Porthos replied. She could feel his eyes on her leg as she tried not to limb back upstairs.

* * *

 

Anne felt like she had just snuggled up to her son, when someone knocked at the door and then stormed in.

“That ungrateful child!”, her husband complained loudly.

“Who?”, Anne asked hoarsely, her eyelids still heavy with sleep.

“My brother! He’s threatening us! We’ve just had a message from Treville, telling us that my brother threatened to take over the throne should we not come back within the day! Apparently he is telling my council that I’m a coward and not fit to rule a country”, Louis said outraged.

“It was wrong to leave the palace!”, he continued before the queen could reply, “we need to go back immediately.”

“What about the citizens of Paris? The uprisings?”, Anne asked worriedly.

“I shall not be a coward, Anne. I will face them and find a way to make it up to them”, Louis assured her.

“You’re not a coward, papa”, little Louis said, his eyes still closed. The king smiled in return and kissed the dauphin on his forehead.

“But what about the safety of your son?”, Anne inquired.

“He’ll be protected by my most loyal servants. I think they’ve proved their loyalty often enough”, the king assured Anne, who smiled in return.

* * *

 

“Unfortunately we have to leave one of the horses behind, your Majesties. It’s been limping for a while and I can’t imagine it making the way to Paris”, Aramis let the royal family know. He hesitated briefly and continued: “Porthos will ride with the queen, if that’s fine with you?”

“You and you’re friends are about the only people I can still trust, Monsieur Aramis”, the king smiled brightly and then added in a more serious voice, addressing the four Musketeers now: “I trust you with my life as well as the lives of my wife and son. I could never ask for a more loyal and trustworthy guard.”

Anne looked at Aramis and could almost feel his guilt and shame as he looked back at her. She closed her eyes briefly and then looked away.

Porthos helped her on his horse and the royal family and their guards rode off to Paris.

“You went to see him yesterday”, Porthos broke the silence after a while. The queen was slightly startled to hear him speak to her like this.

“You know that he left for a reason and if you continue to seek his company, someone will find out again”, he continued. Anne heard his words but tried not to let them sink in.

“You’re both putting everyone in danger again”, he said gently.

“I know”, she replied harshly.

Her mind wandered back to her nightmare, to Rochefort and to the chain around her neck. She observed D’Artagnan riding in front of them with her little son. The heat made her feel light-headed and she had to hold on to Porthos in order not to fall down.

“I just love him so”, she suddenly admitted to Porthos, almost sobbing, “it’s just the way he loves me. My husband doesn’t love me like that.”

Porthos chuckled: “Yes, I heard he is a good lover.”

Anne smiled through her tears: “No, it’s not just that. It’s the way he looks to me. Like I mean the world to him… And I can’t imagine a life without him.”

“There, there”, he tried to console her, “I wish things were different for both of you. I truly do. But they aren’t. You’re the queen and the king needs you. Now more than ever.”

“I know”, she replied gently and silently sobbed into his chest as they arrived in Paris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the late update.


	8. The masked ball - part one

At their arrival, they found the Louvre surrounded by angry looking red guards.

“Where is the king’s brother?“, Athos asked the head of the red guards.

“Where he’s supposed to be, captain”, the latter replied with a mischievous smile.

“Your Majesties, Gaston awaits you in the throne hall”, Athos let the king and queen know. Louis looked like a child who had just witnessed his brother destroy his favourite toy, while the queen seemed determined to push Gaston off the throne.

The king quickly got off his horse and stormed inside. Athos and D’Artagnan were right behind him, leaving Porthos and Aramis alone with the queen and the dauphin.

Porthos picked up the dauphin who smiled brightly at him. The queen and Aramis both looked at their child. He was safe, happy and surrounded by people he loved. They knew that they couldn’t jeopardise his safety. It had to end right here and there.

“I guess this is goodbye again?”, Aramis whispered to the queen.

“This isn’t goodbye, Aramis. We’ll see each other, we just can’t act on our feelings. Feelings I’ll always have for you, I promise", the queen assured him and tried to smile.

“I’ll be seeing you then, your Majesty”, Aramis bowed to her and watched her return to the palace.

The queen felt like she was returning to the Bastille and tried hard not to look back at Aramis. “Come on, Louis. Your father needs us”, the queen said to her son and held his hand.

In the throne hall, the king and his brother were shouting at each other.

“If you’re too much of a coward to lead this country, maybe you should let me rule in your stead”, Gaston reasoned.

“I am not a coward! I was only looking out for my son!”, the king defended himself.

“You will never rule this country, Gaston”, Anne interrupted their fighting, “my husband and I will make sure of that.”

She stood by the king and held out her hand. No one would ever take away her son’s right to rule over France. The king took her hand and the three of them stood there, ready to face whatever the future might bring.

\---

Two months later the royal family held a masked ball to celebrate the dauphin’s fifth birthday. Nobility from all over France, England and Sweden had been invited to the palace. The king and queen both hoped that they could use the festivities to gain some political and financial support. The queen had suggested this months ago, but after the Gaston incident, the king miraculously had the same idea, though he was still a little embarrassed to ask the nobility for money.

“What are your plans, should the nobility turn their back on you?”, Treville asked the king.

“They won’t. We’ve prepared a spectacular evening for them. Games, fireworks, pastries! You have nothing to worry about!”, the king smiled his brightest smile. The organisation of the masked ball, had made him both excited and weary. His stomach aches had become worse, but he managed to hide his pain successfully.

“And yours?”, Treville asked the queen discreetly.

“I know the nobility of this country too well, Treville. As long as their money is safe, they won’t be troubled to help us. But I will do my best. And should we fail, I will start negotiating peace with my brother”, the queen let him know, making sure her husband didn’t hear.

“I don’t think your husband would approve”, Treville countered.

“Then help us make sure it won’t come to that”, Anne said in a determined tone, “I’m going to get dressed for the ball now.”

“I have appointed the musketeers to the palace this evening”, Treville informed the king.

“I hope we won’t need them tonight. The red guards will stand watch outside, the musketeers may watch over us inside”, the king decided.

\---

The palace was crowded with people, when the queen looked down the staircase of her private apartments.  She held her lady-in-waiting’s hand to descend the stairs in her white satin bodice with a heavy golden overdress. For the special occasion, she had decided not to put up her hair. Her face was thus framed by thick blond curls and adorned with a delicate golden crown.

Coincidently the musketeers arrived just when the queen was halfway downstairs. She could almost feel Aramis’ eyes on her and blushed with pride of her appearance. Athos awkwardly stepped in front of Aramis and hectically gave him an order, that seemed to bring him back to his senses. The queen held up her golden mask and repressed a giggle.

The captain and D’Artagnan accompanied her into the ballroom, whereas Porthos and Aramis remained outside. As she entered the room, everyone turned around to see her; to her delight some even clapped.

“You don’t look like yourself”, the king greeted her.

“Is that your way of complimenting me?”, the queen asked charmingly and even the king had to return her smile.

Unfortunately her good mood crumbled quickly. Not only was the nobility not interested in talking politics at such an event, the noise and heat made her feel increasingly dizzy too. The king had to rest too and they both sat down on their thrones.

“I think I will pass on the dancing tonight”, the king said completely exhausted.

“So will I then”, the queen said.

A tall black-haired man, dressed in emerald green, entered the room. Some duchesses even neglected their husbands to get a better look at the handsome man with the dark eyes.

 “The duke of Buckingham” was announced to the king and queen and immediately came to greet them.

“Your Majesties, I apologise for arriving so shamefully late”, he bowed to the king and queen, “I hope I haven’t missed the fireworks.”

“Not at all, the guests have barely started to dance. It’s almost bedtime for the dauphin though. We were just going to send him to bed”, the king replied.

“Then I do hope you give me permission to dance with your beautiful wife”, the duke announced while shamelessly flirting with the queen, who felt more than irritated with such bold advances.

“Of course you have”, the king said to Anne’s surprise. While the duke congratulated the dauphin, the king leaned over to her.

“The duke of Buckingham is very rich and has an important armoury in England. I will accompany the dauphin to his chambers, while you dance with him. Keep him occupied until I come back”, the king let her know.

“Your Majesty, may I have this dance?”, the duke held out his hand. The queen reluctantly got up and accompanied him to the middle of the room. His large hand pulled her closer to him. Up closer, she realised that he somehow resembled Aramis. His beard was fashioned in the same way, his hair was as curly as Aramis’ and even his features reminded her of him. But everything about him seemed edgier and colder. His heavy perfume made her feel nauseous and she had to hold onto him in order not to faint. Funnily enough, he seemed to think that the queen was totally impressed by him. She felt like she was in a trance he led her across the room. Pearls of sweat ran down her face.

“Could we please rest for a while?”, she asked the duke, “I’m not feeling well.”

“I thought we were having fun? Just one more dance until your husband comes back”, the duke smiled brightly and his face looked abnormally distorted in Anne’s state of dizziness.

 She was about to faint when she suddenly realised that they were close to the door that led to her staircase. The air was cooler there and it made her regain strength. She managed to free herself from the duke’s arms and leaped towards the doors. She practically fell into Aramis’ arms. His smell and the familiarity of his strong arms soothed her immediately. “Please bring me to my apartments”, she managed to say as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Completely exhausted, she fell asleep right in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the late update. Season 3 came inbetween. There are no spoilers in my new chapters. Just fluffy romance.


	9. The masked ball - part two

“Monsieur, we’ve got everything under control. I think it would be better if you left”, the queen heard Aramis’ voice.

“I take full responsibility for what happened and will stay until the physician arrives”, the duke of Buckingham insisted.

“Please, I insist, if the king should find you in the queen’s apartments…”, Aramis tried to persuade the guest.

Anne slowly opened her eyes to find both of them glaring at each other. She still felt weak but her dizziness was gone.

“You may both leave. I’m feeling much better and I shall come downstairs in a few minutes”, the queen let them know, “Aramis, please get one of my chambermaids to help me change into a lighter dress.”

They both bowed to her and were about to leave when the queen addressed Aramis again: “Get Constance, please.” Aramis was concerned at this request but nodded in return.

She put her hair up and lay flat down on her back while waiting for her lady-in-waiting to show up.

_I know this feeling… This dizziness. As if my body wasn’t entirely my own anymore… Nonono… It’s the stress… My lady-in-waiting once didn’t have her monthly bleedings and it was due to stress. Too much going on… All the people…_

“Good, you’re here! Help me freshen up, please. I want to return to the ball shortly”, the queen told her chambermaid. She changed into a light pale blue silk dress and dismissed the chambermaid when Constance arrived.

“What happened, your Majesty? Aramis is extremely worried about you. He told me you fainted. Have you called upon a physician?”, Constance asked worried.

“I don’t think I need physician… I think I know what I have”, Anne replied hesitantly.

Constance opened her eyes widely, probably realizing what the queen was suggesting.

“Tell me it’s the king’s this time”, Constance begged her friend, but when the latter bit her lower lip and looked at her with her sad blue eyes, she sighed deeply. “I CANNOT believe he did it again! How could he be so stupid after everything that happened with Rochefort!!! I will personally kill him this time!”

“Constance, please understand. I… I was lonely. I went to him… both times”, the queen admitted.

“Your Majesty, it takes two to make a baby!”, Constance replied furiously.

“Maybe it’s a false alert and I’m just feeling nauseous because of the str-…”

“Does this man have to be this fertile? Don’t you ever wonder how many other children he fathered?”, Constance interrupted her.

“Please, Constance, I understand your vexation, but I need your help…”, the queen begged, “I haven’t slept with Louis in years. If I’m with child, I can’t possibly make him believe it’s his…”

“How did you convince him last time?”

“I attributed it to a stormy night we spent at his hunting lodge a few weeks before I slept with Aramis. We couldn’t return to the palace because of the storm and were forced to stay overnight. He was so happy and drunk that evening. He slept like a baby… It was the perfect coincidence”, the queen recounted.

“Oh lord. Then you have to sleep or pretend to sleep with him again…”, Constance reasoned.

“I can’t sleep with the man who ordered my death...”

“Your Majesty, I’m sorry for speaking so boldly, but if you don’t sleep with your husband, you’ll die and Gaston gets declared heir to the throne”, Constance explained what the queen already knew, “you have to do something to prevent this.” She held her hand and slightly squeezed it. Constance seemed to have calmed down, but she still batted her eyelashes nervously. "I'll have the chambermaid arrange everything."

The queen took her golden masked and held onto to her dear friend to go downstairs. Aramis and Porthos still held guard in front of the door that led to the ballroom. Unfortunately the duke of Buckingham had been waiting for her too.

“Your Majesty, I’m glad you’re feeling better again. I sincerely apologise for forcing that last dance on you”, the duke welcomed her back and held out his hand. The queen had no choice but to take it and go back inside.

Upon entering the room she could have sworn that she heard Constance slap somebody, and she knew all too well who that somebody was. Poor Aramis. She could only hope that his friends won’t kill him this time.

“I hope my wife wasn’t a nuisance to you”, the king greeted them. He looked as weakened as the queen.

“On the contrary. She’s been a delight”, Buckingham smiled wickedly.

“We were about to discuss the duke’s great artillery and how he can help us win this war”, Anne bluntly brought up the subject. She had lost all her patience and wanted to get rid of this annoying man as quickly as possible.

“Oh I see… The thing is, your Majesties, unfortunately I can’t afford giving up all my armoury for an overseas war”, the duke explained, feigning pity.

“A distinguished man like you would not turn down an offer that will bring him great recognition and might even make him write history”, the queen tried to flatter him.

“Your Majesty, it would give me great pleasure to write history with you”, the duke continued to impose his charm on the queen, “but alas, it is too much of a risk. It’s after all a war against a country that brought up such strong personalities as yourself.”

“Indeed… Consider our offers, Monsieur. We would love to have you on our side”, the king intervened, “ _France_ has much to offer in return.”

The duke of Buckingham nodded and patted his hand on his forehead to emphasize that he was thinking about the offer.

“I will have to sleep on this. I will retire to my quarters now”, he then added.

“You´ll be missed at the fireworks”, the king said disappointed.

“Alas, this is of greater importance to me”, the duke insisted, still gesturing theatrically.

The queen rolled her eyes in response and turned back to her throne. She was just about to sit down when someone grabbed her hand.

“I really need to talk to you”, a man dressed in a green long-coat asked her gently.

“Who…”, but before she finished her question, she realised who the man behind the white and golden mask was, “how…?”

“I borrowed one of Treville’s long-coats and stole someone’s mask”, Aramis said quickly and led her away from the king, who now spoke with the Swedish ambassador.

“Is it true?”, he asked the queen hesitantly.

“I don’t know. It could be. I’d have to wait a few more days to be entirely sure… But I feel the same dizziness I felt when I was pregnant with Louis”, she replied.

“What are we going to do now?”, Aramis asked.

“Dance…”, the queen said and pulled Aramis towards the dancing couples, “we’re being more suspicious if we whisper to each other in a secluded corner.”

Aramis carefully put his hand on the queen’s waist and gently pulled her closer.

“Don’t spin me around too much, or I shall faint again.”

“I shall be very careful then”, Aramis smiled shyly.

For a minute they got drawn into the dance, letting completely go of their sorrows and worries. They savoured every moment they spent in such close proximity to each other. To Anne’s surprise not even the fact that the orchestra got louder or that more and more people joined their dancing, made her feel dizzy. Instead she felt alive.

“I think my plan has failed… Everyone is watching us now”, she whispered.

“I think they’re just admiring your Majesty’s radiant beauty”, Aramis insisted charmingly.

“The fireworks have started!”, someone exclaimed and everyone’s attention moved away from the beautiful couple to the windows of the ballroom.

As they stood side by side and watched the fireworks ornate the deep blue night sky, the queen discretely held away her mask to look at Aramis and said:

“I will not give up my son’s right to the throne. I will convince Louis that this child is his as well.”

Aramis looked back at her and told her: “I will accept whatever decision you make.”

“I will lie with my husband tonight”, she said determined and held up her mask again.

As everyone was mesmerized by fireworks, Aramis secretly held Anne’s hand in support. Just when the last spark had cleared away, they heard a loud thud.

“The king!”, they heard Athos’ scream from across the room. D’Artagnan ran towards the king, shouting: “Get a physician! Quickly!”

The queen threw away her mask and ran towards them. She sat down next to him and held up his head. Blood was coming from his mouth and his eyes were opened horrifically wide. His pale face was distorted in pain but he was still breathing. “He’s still breathing. He’s still breathing”, she said, rocking him in her arms.


	10. A long night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise if that last part there sucks. I tried something.

“It’s been three weeks now! And his condition hasn’t changed! Can’t you see that the bleedings aren’t helping!”, the queen shouted at the court’s physician.

“Your Majesty, it’s the only way. We are bleeding him to health. This way the disease will leave his body!”, the physician insisted.

“You’re bleeding him to death by the looks of it! I can’t bare seeing him like this!”, she told him, truly upset about her husband’s state of health. She sat next to him on his bed, holding his hand.

“Don’t worry … I’m feeling much better already”, the king said, breathing heavily between each word.

“Don’t strain yourself, your Majesty”, the queen begged him.

“Can I see my son?”, he asked and the queen nodded.

The little dauphin hesitantly entered the room and looked at his mother, who held out her hand in return. “Come sit with us. Your father needs you.”

Upon seeing his son, the king seemed to gain strength within the hour. He even managed to eat something for the first time in days. When the dauphin had left to go to bed, the queen mustered all her courage and put on a smile. She knew she was risking the life of her unborn child and her own, but she had no other choice. She prayed that her husband had stayed the gullible person he used to be and cleared her throat.

“Louis, I believe that I am with child again”, she said calmly. Her husband looked at her, his brows puckered.

Before he could respond, the queen continued determined: “I believe it happened that night you fell ill, before we came down to see the fireworks. Our negotiations went so well… You were so proud to have gained the duke of Buckingham’s help with the war…” Even though she was terrified of how her husband would react, she managed to fake a smile.

“That’s marvelous news. We must announce it right away. In times of war, it will give our citizens something to celebrate”, the king replied in such a bizarre, singsong voice, that Anne couldn’t tell if it was an act or if he was truly overjoyed. Instead she nodded in reply.

“Once that there is no doubt that I really am with child, I will have it announced. We shall wait a few days, to be absolutely sure”, the queen played her part. The king nodded.

Way past midnight, she snuck out of the palace to the little chapel at the back of the Louvre’s gardens. Constance had arranged a meeting between her and Aramis so that she could tell him how the king had reacted. She ran into Aramis’ arms and silently sobbed into his chest. He held her close, caressing her head.

“I told him.”

“And he didn’t believe you?”, Aramis asked, giving her a concerned look.

“I couldn’t tell. I just left. He told me to have it announced quickly. But his way of saying it was very bizarre. Aramis, what if he didn’t believe me?”, the queen asked him, clutching a buckle of his leather coat.

“He doesn’t seem to have you followed”, Aramis assessed, peeking out of the chapel, “maybe he believed you after all.”

“He’ll probably have me murdered in my sleep”, the queen countered.

“Don’t worry about that, I will protect you. How is his health anyway?”

“He seemed to be much better today. He’s still weak though and the physicians don’t really know how to treat him”, the queen answered.

“Maybe he’ll die before the child is born”, Aramis reasoned.

“Pardieu, I can’t wish death upon my husband! What does that make me?”

“No, we can’t wish him dead… But what else can we do but wait and pray that he believed you?”

“I hate my life. I wish we didn’t have to lie and live in sin. I wish I weren’t the queen”, the queen suddenly confessed to Aramis.

“ _Ana_ …”, the queen turned to Aramis in surprise. No one had called her by her spanish first name in years. “By this reaction alone, I can tell that you don’t mean a word you just said. You love being queen. You care about this country. And even if you wish that some parts of your life were different, I know you wouldn’t leave it behind.”

He saw right through her. Having him say exactly what she felt made her feel more confident about it.

“We’ll find a way, I promise”, Aramis assured the queen and held her hand, “and should the day come we’d have to admit all our sins, we’d at least know that we’d face judgement’s day _together_.”

They both sat down in front of the altar and prayed. Not for the king’s death, but for the safety of their children.

“We have another problem, your Majesty”, Constance startled them.

“What is it?”, the queen wanted to know.

“Porthos found this being handed out in front of the palace today”, she said, handing Anne a piece of paper. Aramis gulped at the sight of a drawing of a dancing couple. The drawing was entitled “Foreign affairs” and showed the queen dancing happily with a masked man.

“As told by various witnesses, the Queen of France is mocking her people and her husband by dancing frivolously with the handsome duke of Buckingham. Indulging in festivities and exciting affairs, she forgets that the people of France are starving and that her husband is dying”, the queen read out loud.

“Who could have handed them this information? Where did this paper come from?”, Aramis asked Constance.

“This someone knows that the king is ill and wants to tarnish your name, your Majesty… I can only think of one person…”, Constance replied.

“It can only be Gaston. He has already attempted to take the throne once”, Aramis agreed.

“If this gets to the king he’ll believe that Buckingham is the father of our child…”, the queen concluded.

“We have to find all of these to prevent this from happening!”, Constance reasoned.

“At least he wouldn’t suspect you...”, the queen said looking at Aramis.

“Don’t even think like this, your Majesty. Should you come to any harm because of me, I would confess everything to the king and we’d face the consequences together”, Aramis replied.

“That’s all very romantic, but let’s do something to prevent this from happening”, Constance insisted.

“I have to protect her Majesty tonight. I can’t let her alone while we don’t know if the king believed her... And should the pamphlets reach the palace, I can intercept them immediately”, Aramis let her know.

“Porthos and I can’t collect all of them alone… I’d have to tell the garrison about them”, Constance reasoned.

“Let them know then. But don’t mention the pregnancy yet. I want to do that myself”, Aramis begged his friend.

“Let’s go back to the palace then”, the queen decided, “and be careful, both of you.”

“I’ll be right behind you”, Aramis promised. The queen covered her face behind her hood and hurried back to the palace. Aramis followed her slowly, while Constance headed for the back gate of the gardens.

The palace was hauntingly quiet when the queen entered the unguarded door she had left open. She took off her shoes and snuck back upstairs to her apartments. Upon encountering a guard in front of her apartments, she decided to go for the truth: “I’ve just been to the chapel to pray for my husband’s health. Would you be so kind and get me something to drink? My chambermaid’s asleep already and I can’t bother my lady in waiting at this hour!”

“Your Majesty, I can’t protect you if I’m downstairs in the kitchens! I can’t possibly abandon my post”, the guard seemed offended at the queen’s request.

“Well then just tell the first person you see, and you’ll be back in an instant. Oh please, Pierre. I’m parched! I’d go downstairs myself but I’d wake everyone up and I would cause such a scene at this hour. Just this once. I won’t tell anyone”, the queen tried again. Upon hearing his name the guard had already smiled benignly and couldn’t possibly turn her down.

“I’ll be back in an instant, your Majesty”, he promised and bowed to her.

Downstairs behind the marble column, Aramis was already waiting for Pierre to pass him. He snuck up quickly, his hand to his sword. He entered the queen’s room and quickly slid under her bed to wait until Pierre had left the room. Meanwhile the queen put away her robe, closed the curtains and hurriedly lid the candles on her bedside cabinets.

“Thank you so much for this, Pierre. You’re a true gentleman”, the queen greeted her guard when he came back just about a minute later, with a glass of water and even some biscuits. She discreetly closed the door behind him and locked both of the doors that led to her room.

Aramis got out quietly and placed his weapons on the carpet next to her bed. The queen just stood there, relieved that they made it this far. He came up to her and leaned down to her ear.

“You should get some sleep, your Majesty. You’re safe here from the looks of it. I’ll take the chambermaid’s staircase and will stand watch outside of the palace”, he whispered and turned to the window to give her some privacy. Anne however grabbed his arm gently and whispered back:

“You have to help me out of this dress, first. I have dismissed my chambermaids, and it’s really hard to unknot the dress at the back.”

Aramis gulped as she turned around, looking at him over her shoulder. He carefully helped her out of her overdress, unknot the bodice and held her hand as she stepped out of her underskirt. She sat on her bed and held up her leg, so that he would remove her silken stocking. As his hands ran down her leg, she got goosebumps. Before he could move to the second stocking, she had pulled him on top of her. She kissed him ardently, her tongue exploring his mouth. He put his hands on both sides of her head. “This is not why I came here”, he murmured, catching his breath, “I should be leaving.”

“I’m sorry… I just can’t seem to calm down. Not knowing what will happen tomorrow makes me anxious”, she said in return.

“No one knows what will happen tomorrow, your Majesty. We just have to tell ourselves that everything will be fine, or we’ll lose our minds”, Aramis assessed.

“I’d love nothing more than to get my mind off things”, the queen said, pulling Aramis closer once more. Her face crumbled when he pushed himself away once more. He got up, and stood there, hands on his hips, shaking his head slightly. Embarrassed by the rejection, she blushed. Avoiding his look, she sat up, straightened her chemise and turned around to close the heavy curtain of her bed. She could still hear him breathe heavily. He hadn’t moved. She was about to close the last one, when out of the blue she felt him grab her left leg and gently pull her closer to him. He kneeled down in front of her and placed her leg over his shoulder. He looked up at her and held her hand. She looked into his intense brown eyes that reflected the candlelight, when he said: “You’ll be the death of me.” “And you of me”, she replied. Her cheeks turned even more crimson at the thought of what he was about to do. When she felt his moustache brush against her inner thigh, she bit her lower lip hard. Aramis pulled her closer to the edge of her bed and lifted her chemise over his head. He started his exploration of her already damp nether regions, by licking over them slowly and then gently sucking on her folds. Anne threw her head back and dugged her fingers into her bed sheets. He sent tremors through her whole body as his tongue entered her. As he changed the movements of his tongue, he created such an intense sensation, that she had to arch her back and grab a pillow to suffocate a cry of absolute pleasure. He got up and removed the pillow to find Anne still breathing heavily. When she saw that he was hesitant about what to do next, she pulled him towards her mouth and kissed him. Surprisingly, even tasting her own essence on him made her tremble in ineffable pleasure. “If that didn’t take your mind off…”, he smiled wickedly and kissed her once more. “I’ll leave now though... I won’t be far”, he promised and left. Anne slid under her bedsheets and fell asleep at once.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could not resist but give them a little more happiness before everything goes wrong again. I totally give up on the characterisation at this point. The show's anne would never let herself have an actual affair with Arams while the king's still around. It's too risky.  
> Rest assured, it won't be easy for them in the next chapter.

The following week everything went extraordinarily well. The king, who was well enough to take his meals in the dining room again, seemed to believe the queen’s story. The pamphlets had never reached the palace and the queen, though a little nauseous at times, was happy to have her second pregnancy announced the following day.

“I invited my brother and Buckingham over for dinner tomorrow night”, the king let his wife know.

“I’m so happy how everything is turning out for you sire. Buckingham will help you finance the war and we might finally put an end to it. And Gaston now dropped another rank in the succession of the throne”, Anne replied happily, touching her belly.

The king smiled in return and forced himself to eat a little of the meal that had been brought to him. The queen took another bite of the delicious venison and wondered how Aramis’ friends would take the news the latter would tell them today. Though she was sure that they weren’t going to kill him, she was worried about her and Aramis’ reputation among them. Another pregnancy made both of them look foolish, after everything that had happened with Rochefort. This time she swore that she wasn’t going to let anyone get close to her. But was that enough? She knew that she could trust the musketeers and Treville, should he suspect anything. Louis had no puppeteer that made use of his naïveté. It was all in her hands. On this thought, she happily finished her meal and retired to her apartments.

That evening Aramis had found his way back to her apartments again. She had sent Pierre on an errand again, and was already dressed for bed. Aramis didn’t seem as confident about the whole situation as she was: he kept running his fingers through his already messy hair, he had deep circles under his eyes and nervously walked around the room, as Anne locked the door behind them. “I presume they didn’t take the news well?”, Anne smiled.

Aramis frowned his eyebrows, confused about her cheerfulness.

“Aramis, tell me what they said”, Anne wanted to know.

“Your Majesty, don’t you see, how precarious this situation is again? The king is dying. Should he find out about us, he’ll have both of us beheaded. And Gaston will take the throne. The man’s a power hungry lunatic, who will ruin France forever. The prospects of dying for Gaston, don’t exactly please Athos, D’Artagnan and Porthos…”, Aramis tried to explain his frustration.

“Do you think I wanted this? After everything that has happened, do you think I wanted to get pregnant again?”, Anne asked angrily.

“Why did you come to me, that night at the stables? Only days before you were adamant on letting me go. We both know our duties. Why did you come back to me?”, Aramis asked breathlessly.

“Because I love you! And I cannot live for my duties alone. My husband neglected me for years, he even sentenced me to death without a trial and I still have to live with him every day. Don’t you think I deserve some happiness?”, Anne retorted.

“What about … your son? Wasn’t he enough for you to be happy?”, Aramis asked.

“What did they tell you that made you change your mind about us so drastically? You said you were never going to leave me again”, Anne changed the subject.

“They might have made me realize that my four years at the monastery have been in vain and that I obviously didn’t learn anything. And they’re right. I’m not honorable. I’m a cheat. I should have stood my ground and stayed away from you. Now everyone’s life is at risk again because of me”, Aramis confessed.

“You’re talking as if it were entirely your fault, Aramis. Please don’t take this all on yourself. You’re not a cheat. And you are still honorable, otherwise this whole situation wouldn’t bother you so much. I promise you, this time I have everything under control. Neither Richelieu nor Rochefort will pop out of the ground to haunt us. We’re going to survive this too”, she answered and moved closer to him.

“And besides, I’ve come to the conclusion that we have to live outside of our duties or we can never pretend to have lived at all. I know it’s selfish of me to want you like I do, but I can’t live without you anymore”, she concluded and wrapped her hands around his waist.

“They love us, you know. They are just worried about their future. And I understand them”, Aramis reasoned. He kissed her on the forehead and wrapped his arms around her as well. “But I will never stop worrying about how my love for you might hurt anyone I love. Most of all you.”

“You could never hurt me, Aramis”, the queen said and snuggled up to him, “and I get that our friends are worried, but we couldn’t be in a better place. The king is too preoccupied with his illness to question my pregnancy or suspect anything. So we… we don’t need to be careful now… And I’m tired of holding back.”

She said those last words teasingly, looking up to him with a gaze full of love and longing. All her life she had waited for someone to look at her as he did now and she was finally ready to accept this love and return it completely. She was no longer going to try to put out the fire he had ignited in her.

He gently cupped her face in his hands and kissed her slowly. But she didn’t want him to be careful anymore, so she pulled him closer into a fiery kiss. He returned the passion by kissing her neck. She loved feeling his moustache tickle her soft skin, his sensuous lips covering her neck with kisses. He embraced her and ran his hands down to her waist. She suddenly parted from his lips and pushed him away. Without breaking eye contact she moved closer towards the bed and loosened the cord of her robe. She grinned in satisfaction when she saw the surprise on Aramis’ face. He looked at her in adoration as the candlelight highlighted her naked body. She could see his stare moving from her slightly swollen breasts to the tiny bump where his child was growing. They’ve reached a point of no return, letting go of all the guilt that had consumed them until now. Their stares locked again, but this time it was Aramis who pulled her to him. Her naked body crushed into the buckles of his uniform. She could feel his excitement as she pressed her body closer to his. As they locked their lips again, Anne ran her fingers through his soft and tousled hair. Though she loved the feeling of her skin against his leather jacket, she slowly started unbuckling his jacket and belt. She then stepped away to watch him step out of his boots and pants. He was about to remove his shirt when she stepped in and literally ripped the fabric in two. “If Pierre didn’t hear that, he’s deaf and you should consider appointing a new guard”, Aramis whispered teasingly into her ear and dropped the shirt on the ground. “I sent him and his family a fruit basket and grain for the entire next year. I doubt he’ll hear a thing…”, the queen replied. “He’s bribable. That’s even worse”, Aramis grinned. “Hush now, or he’ll break the door to save me from –“, Anne was interrupted by Aramis grabbing by the waist. She wrapped her legs around his waist and looked down on him as he lifted her up. The sensation of his firm grip on her butt sent goosebumps over her entire body. He sat down on her bed, Anne still wrapped around his waist. When she sat up on his lap her breasts brushed against his firm chest. She moaned when he grabbed one of her breasts firmly. He ran his nose down the valley of her breasts, once again brushing his beard against her soft skin. As he inhaled her scent, she breathed in and flattened her stomach so that her breasts stuck out even further. She could no longer take the excitement and thus slid back to guide him to her entrance. He groaned at how easily he slid into her. She ran her fingers over his chest and gently pushed him down, so that he was lying fully on his back. She loved the feeling of having him inside her. She wanted him to be part of her forever. But her body craved for more and thus she placed her knees on each side of his hips and began moving her hips back and forth. Her rhythm increased when he started moving his hips in response. Her breathing grew heavier and she felt a sensation form in her abdomen that only he could make her achieve. Anne gasped in surprise when he grabbed her and rolled her over, so that she was below him. She bit his already swollen lower lip in complaint, but he only smiled at her mischievously. She moaned as he entered her once again. Each of his movements was rough and exciting at the same time. It was like a reversed race between them, both longed for the other one to arrive first. Aramis could not let go of the need to see his partner satisfied with his work first and neither could Anne. It was her turn, so she concentrated hard on making it go on longer. She placed her hands on his butt and pulled him deeper inside of her. She smiled with pleasure when she looked into his face. His breathing was heavy and beads of sweat ran over his forehead onto his curly hair. Lovingly she brushed back one of his curls that had fallen over his face. He slowed down his rhythm and she bit her lip in excitement. She felt herself tighten around him. In order not to let him satisfy her first again, she bravely increased the rhythm of their movements again. She smiled satisfactorily when she noticed his face contorting into a look of pure bliss. But he didn’t give up and Anne groaned sharply as he used his hand to rub against her most sensitive area. Her eyes closed as her entire body tensed when he abruptly pulled out of her. To her delight his last thrust filled her abdomen with the familiar warmth of his release, as she too felt the waves pass over her. Completely exhausted he rolled over next to her.

She wanted nothing more but to have him fall asleep next to her, but she knew he had to leave again. But this time there was no guilt in his eyes when he turned over to her and held her hand. They were past this. They knew that they could no longer live without each other. Come what may.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction, but please don't hesitate to comment and give your honest opinion. I am not historically accurate, nor will I follow what happened in the third season. I wrote this in anticipation of the third season and will continue where I have left off. I took the screencaps JP posted before the third season as an inspiration and added a few ideas of my own.


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